The Oracles have seen the enemy -- and it's well-educated.
Last night, a team of big-brained men with big bats from that bastion of baseball, Harvard, went all Bash Brothers on the Oracles, taking advantage of two particularly Babe Ruth-ian innings to blow by the Oracles 19-7 (notice all the alliteration? We speak English too, Harvard! Don't make us pull out the antonyms, ahhhh snap!).
The game was highlighted by a second inning change in fielding strategy (girls on the infield, guys to the outfield) once the team realized that a disastrous first inning was caused by the ball always sailing into the deep outfield, bypassing all of the handsome and charming Oracle men in the infield. For much of the game, the move paid off, and the Oracles even discovered the newest infield double-play threat, the AB Twins, Ali and Brianne.
All was not lost in this game though. Like the US World Cup team, the Oracles' recent troubles stem in large part from an inability to score early, and a willingness to concede large numbers of runs in the early innings. There was a light at the end of the tunnel yesterday, as the Oracles actually scored the last 7 runs of the game in a furious two-inning comeback that was about 8 runs away from having the Harvard team quaking in its cleats. The Oracles' may have lost the game, but in the closing innings they snatched a moral victory from the jaws of complete and utter defeat.
Next week the Oracles take on the Triskelions, who are quaking at fear at our awe-inspiring ability to have amazing amounts of fun regardless of the score. And, I have a feeling, I must say, that next week the Oracles are going to enjoy lively bats, consistent gloves, and celebrate victory against the Triskelions.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Pizza Hut Has a Message for the Oracles
Last night the Oracles fell to the mighty Hitmen 15-4, thanks to the Hitmen's 8-run outburst in the sixth inning. But it was a game where everyone played to have fun, and that is all that matters. In fact, Pizza Hut is aware of our plight, and has a created a commercial to reassure us that losing, in fact, is pretty awesome.
Happy Independence Day weekend, Oracles! Just remember, America lost many battles against the British before it won the war.
Happy Independence Day weekend, Oracles! Just remember, America lost many battles against the British before it won the war.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Oracles Fall 11-4 to League Champs, Feel Pretty Good Anyway
According to Coach Brianne:
"It would be easy to summarize last night's game in three words: Nelson is awesome. [Ed. note: Nelson was sometimes awesome. Let's not primp his ego more than necessary]. Truthfully, one could summarize the entire season that way, no doubt. [Ed. note: again, too far]. But since that would make for an incredibly unsatisfying recap, we must forge on [Ed. note: thank you]. The Oracles took the Field of Dreams with high hopes and full Solo cups. They were head to head with the No Talent AZ (read: "ass") Clowns and inning after inning it seemed as though their name rang true [Ed. note: We don't really mean it, they were quite nice]. Paul C and Roy had eyes only for each other, out after out [Ed. note: in a totally heterosexual, manly way]. Tim had our opponents' heads spinning as they tried to focus on the ball. And single after single scored a run. The Oracles held down the score almost til the end ..."
[Ed. note: Brianne's recap became incoherent at this point, so Coach Brian took over the writing] Alas, despite only losing 5-4 in six of the seven innings, one asterisk of an inning (it was juicing on 'roids, we swear) led to the AZ Clowns scoring six runs. But other than THAT asterisk-clad inning, it was only a one-run game.
More important than any game, was the location. The field. The Field of Dreams. A place where men wander out of corn rows and into our hearts, where the locals stop and stare, where the good cheer and humor of the Oracles is finely tuned ... yes, the first game at the Field of Dreams marks the beginning of the REAL season. Accept no substitutes (and count no games before yesterday, please, league officials).
MVP award goes to: Nelson. 'Nuff said. But don't let it go to your head, big guy. Your boat shoes don't make you the next Albert Pujols ... yet.
Best insult goes to: Tim. Are you surprised? We really don't know what he said, but in the middle of the AZ Clowns' star shortstop's at-bat, Tim said something so outrageous that the guy couldn't stand at the plate or swing at the next two pitches.
A special welcome goes out to: The baby. While I can't recall said baby's name (heretofore referred to as "Baby No. 1"), the kid was adorable. And a future softball star. With a family like Amy and Ian, the sky is the limit. Get a glove on that kid. Stat.
Until next week, you stay classy Oracles.
"It would be easy to summarize last night's game in three words: Nelson is awesome. [Ed. note: Nelson was sometimes awesome. Let's not primp his ego more than necessary]. Truthfully, one could summarize the entire season that way, no doubt. [Ed. note: again, too far]. But since that would make for an incredibly unsatisfying recap, we must forge on [Ed. note: thank you]. The Oracles took the Field of Dreams with high hopes and full Solo cups. They were head to head with the No Talent AZ (read: "ass") Clowns and inning after inning it seemed as though their name rang true [Ed. note: We don't really mean it, they were quite nice]. Paul C and Roy had eyes only for each other, out after out [Ed. note: in a totally heterosexual, manly way]. Tim had our opponents' heads spinning as they tried to focus on the ball. And single after single scored a run. The Oracles held down the score almost til the end ..."
[Ed. note: Brianne's recap became incoherent at this point, so Coach Brian took over the writing] Alas, despite only losing 5-4 in six of the seven innings, one asterisk of an inning (it was juicing on 'roids, we swear) led to the AZ Clowns scoring six runs. But other than THAT asterisk-clad inning, it was only a one-run game.
More important than any game, was the location. The field. The Field of Dreams. A place where men wander out of corn rows and into our hearts, where the locals stop and stare, where the good cheer and humor of the Oracles is finely tuned ... yes, the first game at the Field of Dreams marks the beginning of the REAL season. Accept no substitutes (and count no games before yesterday, please, league officials).
MVP award goes to: Nelson. 'Nuff said. But don't let it go to your head, big guy. Your boat shoes don't make you the next Albert Pujols ... yet.
Best insult goes to: Tim. Are you surprised? We really don't know what he said, but in the middle of the AZ Clowns' star shortstop's at-bat, Tim said something so outrageous that the guy couldn't stand at the plate or swing at the next two pitches.
A special welcome goes out to: The baby. While I can't recall said baby's name (heretofore referred to as "Baby No. 1"), the kid was adorable. And a future softball star. With a family like Amy and Ian, the sky is the limit. Get a glove on that kid. Stat.
Until next week, you stay classy Oracles.
Friday, June 18, 2010
And We're Back!
From our fearless captain Brianne, thoughts on last night's game:
The Oracles were looking good, with David the Intern squatting on the rugby field and their opponents Raising Arizona begging for a post-game flip cup rematch. The Oracles swung their mighty bats and led off with two runs, when the Rugby team threatened to take the field by force.
A caravan across Constitution left the players uncertain as to their future, but they knew it would include the Keystone Ice Alex found on sale. While Tim squatted on one side of the monument the team started to make a field on an uphill slope when all of a sudden the softball gods parted the red sea of crowded fields and the game really began.
The Oracles welcomed Shana, Jesse, Paul C and David the Intern and got into the fielding groove with 2 innings of shutouts. Alex threw in a home run, Tim got "on base" 3 times, and Lucinda reattained her MVP status with 2 outs in one inning followed by a run scored in the next. In the end the mighty Oracles fell 15-6, but once again were victorious in beer drinking, leaving no (Keystone Ice) man behind.
As they walked off the field, visions of taking the Field of Dreams next week filled their heads and they were filled with joy.
The Oracles were looking good, with David the Intern squatting on the rugby field and their opponents Raising Arizona begging for a post-game flip cup rematch. The Oracles swung their mighty bats and led off with two runs, when the Rugby team threatened to take the field by force.
A caravan across Constitution left the players uncertain as to their future, but they knew it would include the Keystone Ice Alex found on sale. While Tim squatted on one side of the monument the team started to make a field on an uphill slope when all of a sudden the softball gods parted the red sea of crowded fields and the game really began.
The Oracles welcomed Shana, Jesse, Paul C and David the Intern and got into the fielding groove with 2 innings of shutouts. Alex threw in a home run, Tim got "on base" 3 times, and Lucinda reattained her MVP status with 2 outs in one inning followed by a run scored in the next. In the end the mighty Oracles fell 15-6, but once again were victorious in beer drinking, leaving no (Keystone Ice) man behind.
As they walked off the field, visions of taking the Field of Dreams next week filled their heads and they were filled with joy.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Friday, July 31, 2009
Oracles Fail to Finish Their Juice
Recap written by team captain Brianne:
In what was once described by Brian being Manny as "kissing our sister" the Oracles left the field last night in a tie against the APCO Juice. With the sun going down and the yellow ball flying around the field the captains called the game at a score of 10-10 and wished each other luck in the tournament.
But...the Oracles had their fair share of excitement and our lackluster finish could not be blamed on a lack of lustrious moments. The Oracles let in 2 runs in the first inning and were shut out at bat. But in the 2nd inning Martin (newly wed and just back on the field) had a stunning double play to end a painful rally. Oracles were shut out at bat again, and feeling down (by 4). But then the third inning got those juicers out 1-2-3 and the Oracles bats started singing. With Tim, Brian and Brianne up they scored 1...2...3.. runs followed by Britt and Amy. No sliding was needed, but was encouraged from the peanut gallery...er...dugout. The Oracles ended the inning up by 1 run and with still more tricks up their sleeves. They held the Juice in the next inning and the Juice held them back again in a scoreless 4th inning.
Then, in inning 5 the Oracles hit the top of the order and the top of their stride getting Brian, Roy and Britt on base and Alex hitting a home run that brought the boys in. (I don't really remember that part, but it's what it looks like in the score book, so let's go with it). They held back the Juice one more time in inning 5 but then, all hell broke loose.
The Juice loaded the bases and Lucinda and Brianne focused all their energy on clean pitching and getting those guys out at the plate with an intensity that was draining, yet yielded no tangible results. The crowd got worked up when the large man charged across the plate and was safe...undeniably safe...and yet the Juice would not accept that the Oracles were giving them the call. A fight almost broke out at the plate when the Juice chanted -- he was safe! While the Oracles chanted back -- yes we agree! It was the first almost-brawl the Ludlow field had ever seen from the Congressional Softball League but I think it's safe to say that with Christy on the team now bolstering Tim it won't be the last.
At some point in the 7th inning Nelson made a triumphant dive after the ball for an out, and as Amy and Brianne sat and pondered the meaning of life and softball Amy shared a jewel of wisdom that deserves repeating, "All guys are superficial. The only reason all guys don't date pretty girls is that they all can't."
Britt was voted MVP for reasons this writer no longer recalls. And that's all she wrote.
For more softball-related nonsense:
Co-Worker Just A Little Too Excited About Company Summer Softball Leagu
Softball Team Unsure Of How To Console Jackass Captain Who Just Struck Out
In what was once described by Brian being Manny as "kissing our sister" the Oracles left the field last night in a tie against the APCO Juice. With the sun going down and the yellow ball flying around the field the captains called the game at a score of 10-10 and wished each other luck in the tournament.
But...the Oracles had their fair share of excitement and our lackluster finish could not be blamed on a lack of lustrious moments. The Oracles let in 2 runs in the first inning and were shut out at bat. But in the 2nd inning Martin (newly wed and just back on the field) had a stunning double play to end a painful rally. Oracles were shut out at bat again, and feeling down (by 4). But then the third inning got those juicers out 1-2-3 and the Oracles bats started singing. With Tim, Brian and Brianne up they scored 1...2...3.. runs followed by Britt and Amy. No sliding was needed, but was encouraged from the peanut gallery...er...dugout. The Oracles ended the inning up by 1 run and with still more tricks up their sleeves. They held the Juice in the next inning and the Juice held them back again in a scoreless 4th inning.
Then, in inning 5 the Oracles hit the top of the order and the top of their stride getting Brian, Roy and Britt on base and Alex hitting a home run that brought the boys in. (I don't really remember that part, but it's what it looks like in the score book, so let's go with it). They held back the Juice one more time in inning 5 but then, all hell broke loose.
The Juice loaded the bases and Lucinda and Brianne focused all their energy on clean pitching and getting those guys out at the plate with an intensity that was draining, yet yielded no tangible results. The crowd got worked up when the large man charged across the plate and was safe...undeniably safe...and yet the Juice would not accept that the Oracles were giving them the call. A fight almost broke out at the plate when the Juice chanted -- he was safe! While the Oracles chanted back -- yes we agree! It was the first almost-brawl the Ludlow field had ever seen from the Congressional Softball League but I think it's safe to say that with Christy on the team now bolstering Tim it won't be the last.
At some point in the 7th inning Nelson made a triumphant dive after the ball for an out, and as Amy and Brianne sat and pondered the meaning of life and softball Amy shared a jewel of wisdom that deserves repeating, "All guys are superficial. The only reason all guys don't date pretty girls is that they all can't."
Britt was voted MVP for reasons this writer no longer recalls. And that's all she wrote.
For more softball-related nonsense:
Co-Worker Just A Little Too Excited About Company Summer Softball Leagu
Softball Team Unsure Of How To Console Jackass Captain Who Just Struck Out
Friday, July 10, 2009
Oracles Pay Taxes, Get a BIG Refund
Cut to Sportscenter set. Stu Scott and Chris Berman are standing around a TV monitor
Scott: I’m telling ya, Chris, she’s the complete package. She pitches, she hits, she fields. Look at that catch, look at that catch! Booyah!
Berman: I hear you, Stu, I hear you. Look how she holds that bat, it’s like she’s trying to convince the pitcher she’s never played before. But then … here it comes … bam! She connects! She … could … go … all … the … way … to first base! The Swami has never seen such a fine RBI single.
Scott: Shhh, she’s pitching now. Here’s the windup, and the lob! Look at that ball float through the air. I haven’t seen a lob pitch that beautiful since Henry Rowengartner floated one by Butch Heddo in “Rookie of the Year”.
Berman: Stu, that was a movie.
Scott: Well, this, Chris, is real life! That Lucinda sure is the whole tamale!
Oracles, it has been a long time since this blog has so urgently felt the need to trumpet the skills and greatness (or lack thereof) of the Oracles, but today is such a day. From Lucinda’s starring turns at the plate, on the mound, and in the field, to Nelson’s play-by-play reenactment of the children’s classic “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”, last night’s battle against Colvin’s Tax Court Cannons, won in the bottom of the 7th inning on a 2-run RBI single by Brian “Being Manny Does Not Include Steroids” Wagner, deserves to be commemorated in a blog!
Yesterday, the Field of Dreams served as the courtroom where the Oracles defended their awesomeness against the plainly petty plaintiffs, Colvin’s Cannons, emerging from the 7th inning with a hard-fought 12-11 victory. The MVP of the game, without a doubt, was Lucinda, with a stat line that read: 5 IP, 2 RBIs, and one awesome catch while playing 2B. Plus, there are the intangibles of greatness, like having the other team anoint you as (and beg you to be) their pitcher of choice while tall, manly men struggle to find the plate when pitching in your stead. Lucinda, we salute you.
After jumping to an early 4-run lead in the first, the Oracles fell behind due to a witch’s curse which apparently centered on Nelson. How else does one explain the Cannon’s 2-out rally that led to 5 runs in the second inning? Or Nelson’s apparent inability to catch or hit a softball?
After three innings, the Oracles were down 9-5, with a rather bleak future ahead. The bats weren’t connecting and the gloves weren’t catching. If that wasn’t enough, Brian had to go and hit a tax judge in the back of the head with a throw to third. Oops. As several players commented later, it might be good to avoid tax court for a few years.
But just when all seemed bleak and Nelson’s curse appeared unquenchable in its thirst for disaster, the Oracles’ white knight, Tim “Botox isn’t just for women” O’Neill, wandered in with a recipe for success, and suddenly, with chants of “singles score a run” echoing in their heads like so many buzzing bees, the Oracles, like Stella, found their groove.
As the innings ticked by, a battle waged, with the Oracles slowly making up ground. 9-5 became 9-7. 9-7 became 11-7. 11-7 became 11-9. And it all came down to the bottom of the 7th, with the heart of the Oracles lineup trooping to the plate. With runners on 2nd and 3rd, the score now 11-10, and with one out, Brian stepped to the plate, knocked a pitch right into the 2nd baseman’s stomach on a nasty hop (sorry!), and watched as not one, but two runners scored on a wild throw. Oracles win, Oracles win!
And that folks is how Lucinda, Nelson, and the rest of the Oracles got their groove back.
Kudos to: Brianne, for stellar defensive plays; Alex, for hitting the requisite home run; and Nelson, for being such a good sport on his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Special thanks and welcome to: Katie C, Katie T, Allen, and Michael, all who are invited to rejoin the Oracles any time.
Scott: I’m telling ya, Chris, she’s the complete package. She pitches, she hits, she fields. Look at that catch, look at that catch! Booyah!
Berman: I hear you, Stu, I hear you. Look how she holds that bat, it’s like she’s trying to convince the pitcher she’s never played before. But then … here it comes … bam! She connects! She … could … go … all … the … way … to first base! The Swami has never seen such a fine RBI single.
Scott: Shhh, she’s pitching now. Here’s the windup, and the lob! Look at that ball float through the air. I haven’t seen a lob pitch that beautiful since Henry Rowengartner floated one by Butch Heddo in “Rookie of the Year”.
Berman: Stu, that was a movie.
Scott: Well, this, Chris, is real life! That Lucinda sure is the whole tamale!
Oracles, it has been a long time since this blog has so urgently felt the need to trumpet the skills and greatness (or lack thereof) of the Oracles, but today is such a day. From Lucinda’s starring turns at the plate, on the mound, and in the field, to Nelson’s play-by-play reenactment of the children’s classic “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”, last night’s battle against Colvin’s Tax Court Cannons, won in the bottom of the 7th inning on a 2-run RBI single by Brian “Being Manny Does Not Include Steroids” Wagner, deserves to be commemorated in a blog!
Yesterday, the Field of Dreams served as the courtroom where the Oracles defended their awesomeness against the plainly petty plaintiffs, Colvin’s Cannons, emerging from the 7th inning with a hard-fought 12-11 victory. The MVP of the game, without a doubt, was Lucinda, with a stat line that read: 5 IP, 2 RBIs, and one awesome catch while playing 2B. Plus, there are the intangibles of greatness, like having the other team anoint you as (and beg you to be) their pitcher of choice while tall, manly men struggle to find the plate when pitching in your stead. Lucinda, we salute you.
After jumping to an early 4-run lead in the first, the Oracles fell behind due to a witch’s curse which apparently centered on Nelson. How else does one explain the Cannon’s 2-out rally that led to 5 runs in the second inning? Or Nelson’s apparent inability to catch or hit a softball?
After three innings, the Oracles were down 9-5, with a rather bleak future ahead. The bats weren’t connecting and the gloves weren’t catching. If that wasn’t enough, Brian had to go and hit a tax judge in the back of the head with a throw to third. Oops. As several players commented later, it might be good to avoid tax court for a few years.
But just when all seemed bleak and Nelson’s curse appeared unquenchable in its thirst for disaster, the Oracles’ white knight, Tim “Botox isn’t just for women” O’Neill, wandered in with a recipe for success, and suddenly, with chants of “singles score a run” echoing in their heads like so many buzzing bees, the Oracles, like Stella, found their groove.
As the innings ticked by, a battle waged, with the Oracles slowly making up ground. 9-5 became 9-7. 9-7 became 11-7. 11-7 became 11-9. And it all came down to the bottom of the 7th, with the heart of the Oracles lineup trooping to the plate. With runners on 2nd and 3rd, the score now 11-10, and with one out, Brian stepped to the plate, knocked a pitch right into the 2nd baseman’s stomach on a nasty hop (sorry!), and watched as not one, but two runners scored on a wild throw. Oracles win, Oracles win!
And that folks is how Lucinda, Nelson, and the rest of the Oracles got their groove back.
Kudos to: Brianne, for stellar defensive plays; Alex, for hitting the requisite home run; and Nelson, for being such a good sport on his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Special thanks and welcome to: Katie C, Katie T, Allen, and Michael, all who are invited to rejoin the Oracles any time.
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