According to Coach Brianne:
"It would be easy to summarize last night's game in three words: Nelson is awesome. [Ed. note: Nelson was sometimes awesome. Let's not primp his ego more than necessary]. Truthfully, one could summarize the entire season that way, no doubt. [Ed. note: again, too far]. But since that would make for an incredibly unsatisfying recap, we must forge on [Ed. note: thank you]. The Oracles took the Field of Dreams with high hopes and full Solo cups. They were head to head with the No Talent AZ (read: "ass") Clowns and inning after inning it seemed as though their name rang true [Ed. note: We don't really mean it, they were quite nice]. Paul C and Roy had eyes only for each other, out after out [Ed. note: in a totally heterosexual, manly way]. Tim had our opponents' heads spinning as they tried to focus on the ball. And single after single scored a run. The Oracles held down the score almost til the end ..."
[Ed. note: Brianne's recap became incoherent at this point, so Coach Brian took over the writing] Alas, despite only losing 5-4 in six of the seven innings, one asterisk of an inning (it was juicing on 'roids, we swear) led to the AZ Clowns scoring six runs. But other than THAT asterisk-clad inning, it was only a one-run game.
More important than any game, was the location. The field. The Field of Dreams. A place where men wander out of corn rows and into our hearts, where the locals stop and stare, where the good cheer and humor of the Oracles is finely tuned ... yes, the first game at the Field of Dreams marks the beginning of the REAL season. Accept no substitutes (and count no games before yesterday, please, league officials).
MVP award goes to: Nelson. 'Nuff said. But don't let it go to your head, big guy. Your boat shoes don't make you the next Albert Pujols ... yet.
Best insult goes to: Tim. Are you surprised? We really don't know what he said, but in the middle of the AZ Clowns' star shortstop's at-bat, Tim said something so outrageous that the guy couldn't stand at the plate or swing at the next two pitches.
A special welcome goes out to: The baby. While I can't recall said baby's name (heretofore referred to as "Baby No. 1"), the kid was adorable. And a future softball star. With a family like Amy and Ian, the sky is the limit. Get a glove on that kid. Stat.
Until next week, you stay classy Oracles.
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