Now, let’s face the facts, Oracles. We lost. We lost legitimately. There was nothing funny, or evil, or zany about the game. In fact, I’m at a loss right now on how to recap this game. That’s why I threw in the link above, to distract you from the pedestrian nature of this recap (thanks Peyton, for having my back. I was worried Dana was going to stab me for the lateness of this posting).
First, let’s start with the good. Oracles showed up on time and in significant numbers, carrying with them loads of enthusiasm and good cheer. We got plenty of warm-up in the field and at the plate, and overall comported ourselves in a very professional manner. Except for two innings of close calls and lucky hits, we shut the Margin of Terror machine down.
Unfortunately, for the second time in a row, our bats, normally ever so mighty, were silenced. Part of it could have been due to the very competent fielding of MoT, and part of it may just have been due to Tim’s absence – I’m not pointing fingers, but there seemed to be a lot of people failing to hit singles and score runs … cough, cough, Mary Beth and Stella.
I would venture a guess that the sheer amount of time the Oracles had to prepare for the game utterly messed up our mojo. The Oracles don’t PRACTICE. We don’t PREPARE. And we certainly don’t BEHAVE. What makes the Oracles far better on the field than we look on paper is that certain indescribable scrappiness and tenacity (je ne sais "fuck it?") that we bring to the field by showing up late and getting rowdy and drunk. How many teams have anything closely resembling Tim and his prodigious heckling abilities? How many teams have a dog trying to catch every ball? How many teams, I ask, patented the shotgun beer rally to win games?!
We are like the Bad News Bears with the ability to win on a regular basis (I haven’t actually seen that movie, so I don’t know if they ever win. Pretend they don’t). Hell, screw the Bad News Bears. We are like the Clint Howard of softball. No one can figure out why or how we win, but we … just … keep … getting … it … DONE.
So forget about the 9-3 loss. Remember that we play games our way on our field. That means we don’t warm up, we drink heavily, and we hit singles or whatever else will score runs. We’re off next week, but when we come back after the 4th of July, I want the Oracles to strike another blow for American independence and win another game. If we all don’t shape up and win more games on our home field, I’ll be starting a future recap with this sad, sad, depressing video
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